Photo of black alcohol ink with gold splatters on watercolor paper.

‘public speaking terrifies me’ by Monte-Chandler

A screen shot with text reading: 
it runs marathons around my head
slamming into the corners of my skull
	unravelling, drowning.

			‘if my words were said aloud,
					i would be universal by now.’

but each time
	the pen blotches and paint bruises on yellow paper
	sweat smudges my work unintelligible
	my hands refuse to curve the way
			they need to curve when writing the letter ‘s’

			it piles up in drifts like a snowstorm
		fills my nerves from my toes to my cranium
		thousands of thoughts, upon thousands unsaid
					they melt.
A screen shot with text reading:
and so	
	i swallow the dryness that stains my tongue
cold air cuts through my chapped lips
	my throat closes on itself and does not repent 

i can’t help but wonder
	if people are ready
	for the day i finally find my voice.
Photo of black alcohol ink with gold splatters on watercolor paper.

About the author

Monte-Chandler is an aspiring artist of all mediums. They go by all/any pronouns. Life is small right now, but they’re trying to get out of their comfort zone as much as possible. Monte can’t wait to make an impact.

Photo by Olga Thelavart on Unsplash.

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