Photo of a hand holding a black smartphone, taking a photo of a white winding staircase from up above

Androgen Confuses Men on Dating Apps by Jem Hewett

Androgen Confuses Men on Dating Apps

First message from a set of abs: ‘Hey’

And I reply – because I’m a coy bitch – ‘Hey’

Your response, and it blows my mind
your poetry, your words
the Artful way you compose language.
The yellow and black of Grindr
cannot contain the majesty of


with a picture of your penis.

Another man, we get to chatting.
I make a joke about
‘My tired, gay arse’
which is met with

‘But I’m straight  ; )’

; )  after each declaration of heterosexuality
as if it cancels out the fact
you found me fuckable to begin with.

I explain I am not a girl,
and yes I am trans
but not a trans woman.
I’m trans in a different direction.
If you stopped to read
take that hand off your junk
you’d realise

maybe I’m not the queer body
to be bodied with you.


About the author

Pronouns: they/them
Bio: Jem Hewett is a bookseller, writer, illustrator, and proud cat parent from Wellington, New Zealand who works hard promoting diverse media. Their art portfolio can be found at, or on twitter @1suspiciousbird.

Photo by Simon Marsault 🇫🇷 on Unsplash

One thought on “Androgen Confuses Men on Dating Apps by Jem Hewett

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s