For all that I am, there is the axe and the anvil. The ask and the answer. Delivery and punishment. Often, I have defined myself in this context. Two opposing counterparts, forged together in sweat and the heavy scent of floral perfume. Opposites met in darkness to wring their hands together and let their mouths meet, acknowledging the strength I accepted. 

For years I decided to be non-binary was to be the song of the sun and moon coming together to wash the world with moonlight. It was bees gathering the pollen from flowers and lavender crushed under the gavel. The rush of the axe fall and the ring of the anvil. But I’ve come to find gender is so much more than that. 

It’s complicated and simple all at once. As real and false as you want it to be. Beautiful and scary. The axe and the anvil are not there to serve me or to clash against one another. They exist as they are, and how I want them to. 

Expression is a precious thing. It is the first step into a sun shower, washing the nightmares away. It is dusk, rushing forward to paint the sky violet and orange. It is the axe and anvil ringing together, for me. It is chocolate melting on the tongue and a slow, long sigh. 

It is everything worth fighting for. 

About the author

Isabelle Quilty (she/they) is a non-binary writer and poet from regional NSW, Australia. Some of their work is published under Beau Quilty. Most of their work is based around LGBTQ+ topics, working towards a greener future and works inspired by their South Asian heritage. They’ve been published by a variety of magazines including Spineless Wonders, Kindling and Sage, Mascara Literary Review and Demure Magazine. You can find their work in the following anthologies; Queer as Fiction (2021), In Flux (2022), Tea with My Monster (2022) and Resilience (2022). They have a poetry chapbook published with Querencia Press titled ‘The World Eats Butterflies Like You.’ https://isabellequilty.wordpress.com/

Photo by Wolfgang Rottmann on Unsplash.